Things happen at the right time in life. Unfortunately, we sometimes attempt to force some issues we should not.
I remember being in High School and playing sports. I pushed myself so hard that I got shin splints. Ouch! That was a lesson of the physical body saying, “I know you want to take this to the next level in your mind, but you are not ready….”
I think most of us learn this at some point with the body; however, we sometimes miss this on the other levels. There are more than just the physical levels to deal with, we have the emotional, mental and spiritual.
Emotionally, have you ever packed on too much stress thinking that you can handle the situation, only to pop emotionally? Have you ever attempted to “cram” too much into your brain only to find that the mind could use a break every once and a while too? Have you ever thought you just need that one title or experience to ensure you have achieved a new level of spirituality or personal growth and yet, that experience does nothing?
Well, sometimes in life, we do need aho nui (or patient perseverance).
We live in this world of “I want it now,” and unfortunately things don’t always happen that fast. This is coming from the guy that teaches people how to manifest things rapidly.
We tend to know our limits on the physical, and yet we often miss them on the other levels.
Over the years, I have had to learn when my emotional body has had enough. When I need downtime. Knowing your emotional limits keeps you from “popping” at the wrong time. No more bad days at the office, only to come home and go crazy on the kids. The tip here is to learn your emotional limit, and more importantly, to be able to communicate you are at the limit to those who can support you.
Now, the best time to figure out how to communicate that you are at a limit is before you hit the limit.
Sit down with your family and friends, tell them what it is like when you hit your emotional stress limit and let them know what you need. Maybe you need alone time, maybe you need to vent. Either way, set up the communication when things are calm. Trust me, the worst time to decide how to communicate that you are stressed is when you are stressing!
Please know your limits and have boundaries. For 30 years, I have been practicing NLP. I have seen clients since the 90’s. In a recent NLP Practitioner training after doing a demo on a phobia release, a student came up to me and said, “I think I get this. So now I am going to go home and do this with my brother who has a really bad phobia. What do you think?”
Well, let’s see. After watching someone disarm a bomb, are you ready to do it? That’s like saying, after seeing someone do surgery, I am ready to go! Besides, I watched the TV show ER!
You see? When we relate the concept to the body, then we are grounded.
By the way, I did tell the student NO. I explained that she did not have permission and that after seeing this once, how can she think she is ready? I asked her what experience she had with phobias. The answer was none. What experience do you have with clients and/or therapy? Again, none….
You get my point.
Know your limits. I believe that you need to have a balance between knowledge and experience. And when you have that, yes you are ready to help others and achieve the mental goals. Until then, get more knowledge and get more practice!
This one is a bit more esoteric.
When I taught in Pembroke, ONT, Canada years ago, a spiritual teacher and leader of the Native Canadian tribe was there. He presented me with an eagle feather during a beautiful ceremony. I was honored, humbled and blessed.
He asked me if I knew what it meant afterwards, and I said yes. I explained my understanding and then asked him to share more. As he did, he stopped and said that he was right in giving me the feather because of my reaction.
In the Native American tradition (as he explained) the eagle feather means that you have a connection to spirit and the earth. In Hawaiian Aumakua and Aina. Because of this, you can connect to both realms and your thoughts and mana’o (thinking and sharing) are balanced.
When you have this blessing, you have a “voice” in the circle. In other words, you get to speak your proverbial mind. He explained to me that without the feather, you don’t get to talk at certain times. For example, you may be so emotional or physically focused, you can’t bring the eagle perspective to the discussion.
Well, people love to talk! So of course you want the feather!! But… you don’t get one until you have already achieved the level.
To put it another way, you have to get there and then get the feather. So when you get it, you are honored, grateful and respond with a simple, “Thank you.” Rather than a: “YES!!!!! I CAN TALK NOW!!!!!!”
In many ancient cultures, you would not give yourself a title, rather others would give you the title. And in many cases, you would smile, say thank you and then remind them that you are on the same path, so the title means little.
Simple analogy: You can’t be a doctor until you are a doctor….
I have seen people grab the title before they are ready (this is true in all the areas above).
I can handle the stress!
I know it all!
Result: Humble pie
I am ready to heal others!
Result: Time to heal yourself
One student a long time ago couldn’t wait for the title of Master Trainer of NLP. He was so close (literally months away from it). And he left our organization and gave himself the title. It did nothing to increase his student enrollment nor did it give him instant universal knowledge.
Some titles are worth the wait because then you are ready for them when you have them!
Another post in the future may be: You are ready, now take the title! And, until then, sometimes it is good to let the universe tell you if you are ready.