Dealing with People Who Are Angry

Aloha,

 

I have written a few blogs about perceptions and projections. Many of you have had experiences with other teachings that discuss having control over your perceived reality.

 

Here’s a quick review:

 

Much of our perceived experience happens in our mind. Have you ever talked with a friend or family member who had a different recollection of an experience you two shared? For example, a brother who had a bad experience on a family vacation that you loved?

 

Or how about the realization that different people see things in different ways? Some people celebrate an event, while others call it a tragedy. Much of my new book is about this and the mechanics behind it. Some people take this realization to an extreme and believe everything is in your mind!

 

And now a quote from the sacred scriptures of The Matrix:

 

As Neo discovered in the movie The Matrix, there is no spoon! But wait, there is a spoon, because he then went on to bend it. Now what? I am so confused…. Is there a spoon?

 

Well, yes.

 

There is an ocean. Some people love the ocean and others don’t. Some people say there is no place they’d rather be, and yet I have met others that can’t stand the water… So there is an ocean, there is a spoon, how you feel about it is all you!

 

Of course there is a shared reality. And how you feel about it is 100% in your mind and under your control.

 

Dealing with Angry People

 

Well I got a question that goes right to that analogy from The Matrix. A student emailed and asked, “How do you deal with angry people?” Specifically, if you have an angry person in your life, how do you change your projections to see this person in another way?

 

So let’s keep it very simple. If there is a person who is angry in your life, there is nothing to change in your mind to make them happy. THEY are angry. Maybe you just need to get out of the way. Maybe that is how they are going to be.

 

Water is wet, the sky is blue, and people are allowed to have the emotions they have. In fact, I have met some people with so much potential who have chose to do nothing with it. Everyone has the ability to let go of the anger, but there is a theme I teach in my workshops. And that is that the responsibility for change rests in each person’s hands.

 

So this angry person is in charge of what they do with their anger. You are in charge of how you react to it.

 

Changing Your Perceptions

 

I worked with someone over 20 years ago who was brilliant and gifted at his work. However, he always seemed to talk negatively about others around me.

 

I pondered this and thought, “How am I projecting this?” I did Ho`oponopono, NLP and energy work. I cleared my own projections and released my baggage. Then the next day I went into work, and everything seemed better! But when we went on our first break, and he began to talk negativity about our boss.

 

Nothing had changed… until I laughed to myself. He stopped, and asked what I was laughing about. And that was when it hit me. Something had changed. I was no longer angry about him being angry. I was no longer bothered by it. I was “flat” on the situation.

 

When he asked me what I was laughing about, I just asked him if we could talk about something positive. I told him I needed a boost.

 

His response was great! He confessed that he is not usually like this with others, but he felt like he could vent to me. He said that I seemed to have the answers (thank you NLP). I thanked him for trusting me, and asked if we could sometimes talk about happy stuff too. He said sure!

 

I don’t see him anymore. We had worked at a department store together. When I left to come work for The Empowerment Partnership, I guess he had to find someone else to vent to.

 

Changing Your Experience

 

There are times to change your external experience. This event could have gone another way. I could have told him that I no longer wanted to be his “venting buddy.” Things could have gotten ugly and he could have become angry with me. I was fortunate!

 

It makes you think… if you have someone that you do not enjoy being around, why are you around them?

 

Be honest and truthful from your heart, and face reality. To face the situation will allow you to alter your experience, whether you change your mind, or whether you cut the ties.

 

Mahalo,
Matt

 

(photo: EvilErin)

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