Here are some thoughts on integrity with regards to your character and how you take action on your path.


There is a saying my grandfather shared with me. He said that “Difficult and troubling times do not build character, but rather they reveal the true character you have built.” Now, I know I have heard this in so many areas and from so many people, so I don’t know the source, what I do know is the importance of this statement.


I played golf for a while (haven’t played for a few years now..), and I would hear on the golf course from so many people that practice is for the range and not the course. Well…. that is the same idea!


I bring up this analogy because we know that this concept is true. Same goes for almost any sport, and when I teach Trainer’s Training for The Empowerment Partnership (, I explain that the best presenters practice before getting in front of the group.


So I think you get my point.


Take it to the next step: NLP and psychology (specifically cognitive psychology) explain that all Learning, Behavior and Change are a function of the unconscious mind. Now, if you have been to my trainings, you know that I follow that up with examples. For example, while learning a phone number, you engage the conscious mind; however, once it is memorized, it is a function of the unconscious mind to recall it, and studies in learning and memory discuss this at great lengths.


So NLP explains why difficult times reveal what you have, because a difficult time tasks and puts stress on the conscious mind. When this occurs, the unconscious takes greater control, and the behaviors that one has developed go on “auto-pilot”.


Parents experience this when they have a stressful situation with their kids and find themselves yelling while almost wondering in their mind “why am I yelling about this?” Maybe after the experience, you think, “wow, I was a jerk.” Either way, these are examples of this very concept.


So, what to do from a NLP perspective: Well, it is simple: Go out on the range and hit a few balls to make sure you can get some practice in! Use your NLP techniques to develop behaviors that are what you want. Swish pattern is a great example, so is Mental and Emotional Release® Therapy (a.k.a. Time Empowerment®). And, there are so many more!


My suggestion is to do this now while things are calm. Take the time to build up strength in character and integrity in your action. That way the next difficult time will be an opportunity to shine!


Mahalo, Matt B. James


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