Dr Matt James http://www.drmatt.com NLP Training & Huna Training Blog Thu, 16 Apr 2015 13:45:36 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.1.3 Wired for Perfect Health http://www.drmatt.com/2015/04/16/wired-for-perfect-health/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=wired-for-perfect-health http://www.drmatt.com/2015/04/16/wired-for-perfect-health/#respond Thu, 16 Apr 2015 13:45:36 +0000 http://www.drmatt.com/?p=2944 Wired for Perfect Health


I have the deepest respect for medical doctors and their profession. But as Deepak Chopra points out:

“Modern medicine, for all its advances, knows less than 10 percent of what your body knows instinctively.

I’ve studied and taught Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Huna for many years now. Though different in their approach, both disciplines believe that our unconscious minds (which run the body and all of its functions) holds two blueprints: one of our body in perfect health and the other of our body in its current state.

In my newest article for Psychology Today “Wired for Perfect Health” I talk about what it takes to tap into your blueprint for perfect health.

Our unconscious minds know exactly what we need to be healthy.

So why aren’t we?

Personally, I think it’s because we ignore our bodies’ natural desire for health and our actions don’t support its intrinsic ability to heal itself and maintain physical health.

To a very great degree, our physical health is up to us, not external forces.

For more from my Psychology Today article, follow this link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/focus-forgiveness/201504/wired-perfect-health

Dr Matt

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“Busting the Myths about Weight Loss” TeleSummit http://www.drmatt.com/2015/04/07/myths-about-weight-loss/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=myths-about-weight-loss http://www.drmatt.com/2015/04/07/myths-about-weight-loss/#respond Tue, 07 Apr 2015 13:45:48 +0000 http://www.drmatt.com/?p=2940 BUST the MYTHS about Weight Loss

Isn’t It Time to BUST the MYTHS about Weight Loss?

My friends and colleagues Drs. Joy and Roy Martina believe the diet industry has brainwashed us into believing many harmful untruths about weight loss – and ourselves. That is why they’ve assembled a panel of world-class holistic health and wellness experts for an informative and inspirational FREE 3-day online event on April 14th – 16th.

I am delighted to say that Joy and Roy have asked me to be on the panel. Here are all the details on how to attend:
To register for this FREE event, go to:

If you cannot attend live, register anyway because the audio replay WILL be available for a limited time.

Over these three days, our expert panel, representing a variety of holistic perspectives, will explore what DOES and DOESN’T work when it comes to weight loss. They’ll look at food addictions and the connection between mind and weight loss. They’ll also discuss the many ways attaining your healthiest weight can improve your life.

Guest panelists include:

  • DRs. JOY and ROY MARTINA – #1 Holistic Thought Leaders, co-authors of Sleep Your Fat Away
  • LYNN SERAFINN (co-host) – Author, marketing strategist for authors & ethical entrepreneurs
  • DR. ELLEN W. CUTLER – Chiropractor, author, natural healing expert, creator of BioSET
  • LORI SHEMEK, PhD – Author, international leader in health and weight loss
  • DOREEN POLIZZI – Health, wellness and lifestyle coach
  • DR. DONI WILSON, N.D. – Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine, nutritionist, midwife, bestselling author
  • AMBER ROMANIUK – Holistic nutritionist, speaker, healthy eating expert
  • JOEY KLEIN – Personal development expert, martial arts champion, author of The Inner Matrix
  • MATTHEW B. JAMES, PH.D, Doctor of Psychology, NLP master trainer, author The Foundation of Huna
  • ERAM SAEED – Producer of “From Heartache to Joy”; founder of Journey to Joy Foundation
  • MAL DUANE – Life recovery coach; transformational guide for women, bestselling author of Alpha Chick
  • ADAM HILL – Triathlete; Ironman triathlon All-World Athlete

This special telesummit is being held to celebrate the launch of Joy and Roy’s brand new book Sleep Your Fat Away: Train Your Brain to Lose Weight Effortlessly, which is coming to Amazon on Tuesday April 21st, 2015. On the telesummit, you’ll find out more about the book and how you can get a collection of free bonus gifts when you buy the book on the day of the launch.

To register for this FREE event, go to:

TWITTER: #SleepYourFatAway #BookSYFA

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Is the Power of Your Mind Keeping You Sick? http://www.drmatt.com/2015/03/31/your-mind-keeping-you-sick/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=your-mind-keeping-you-sick http://www.drmatt.com/2015/03/31/your-mind-keeping-you-sick/#respond Tue, 31 Mar 2015 13:45:13 +0000 http://www.drmatt.com/?p=2934 Is the Power of Your Mind Making You Sick?

“The world sometimes feels like an insane asylum. You can decide whether you want to be an inmate or pick up your visitor’s badge. You can be in the world but not engage in the melodrama of it; you can become a spiritual being having a human experience thoroughly and fully.”

Deepak Chopra


We live in a culture that promotes disease, not health.

Yikes!  Pretty bold statement, right? But I’m not the first one to point this out. Decades ago, respected journalist Walter Cronkite said, “America’s health care system is neither healthy, caring, nor a system.”And as Harvard professor Clayton Christensen points out:

“There are more than 9,000 billing codes for individual procedures and units of care. But there is not a single billing code for patient adherence or improvement, or for helping patients stay well.”

Before my medical doctor friends and students get in an uproar, let me say that I deeply respect the medical profession and all of the sincere, intelligent people who work within it. That said, it’s clear that Western medicine is mainly focused on “curing disease,” not optimizing health. Even wellness programs promoted by forward-thinking medical practices aren’t focused on enhancing health so much as “preventing disease.”

We’re bombarded with statistics about obesity, heart disease, and the latest flu virus circulating.  Well-meaning doctors write articles on “how to prepare for the health issues people face as they age” where they tell you how common it is to get arthritis, osteoporosis, high blood pressure, Alzheimer’s and cancer as you get older.

Even if we’re perfectly healthy, as adults, we’re regularly screened for various cancers and diseases.  Even the grocery store has “hand sanitizers” for your shopping cart so you don’t end up with the evil germs of the shoppers before you. I’m not saying that any of this is a bad thing. But the sense we end up with is that we’re under constant threat! That our health is constantly in jeopardy no matter what we do!

How does all of this affect your personal health?

For my students of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) part of the answer is probably obvious: The unconscious mind (which is the powerhouse that runs our bodies and behaviors) doesn’t easily process negatives. So if it hears, “I don’t want to have a disease,” it tunes into the “disease” part rather than the “I don’t want” part. So even if you’re trying to eat well and get exercise, if you are doing so to “avoid disease,” you’re sending your unconscious powerhouse mixed messages.

Another problem is that we’ve adopted the mindset that perfect health is the great exception. Being a bit (or a lot) overweight or having high blood pressure or a “bad back” seems normal. Taking fists-full of pills by the age of fifty seems par for the course. Experiencing a difficult labor in childbirth, or having slower metabolism after thirty, or catching a cold or two each year — these things are just to be expected, right? So we look for quick ways to treat our symptoms, rather than insisting on finding cures to get us back to full health.

We’ve forgotten that our bodies have within them the blueprint for perfect health and the ability to produce that perfect health. We look “out there” for answers. But as doctors like Deepak Chopra point out, “Modern medicine, for all its advances, knows less than 10 percent of what your body knows instinctively.”

The Constitution of the World Health Organization (drafted back in 1946) states that “Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.” Despite that definition, until just recently, modern culture and medicine has viewed the body’s health as a physical issue only. Any disease or imbalance is assumed to either be caused by external physical agents (i.e. germs, viruses, etc.) or internal physical chemical imbalances. Back in the 10th century physician, Rabbi, Dr. Moshe ben Maimon, said, “The physician should not treat the disease but the patient who is suffering from it.” Fortunately, more and more doctors are rediscovering that ancient wisdom and they are looking at the whole person — mental, emotional and spiritual — to find causes and cures.

Back to the power of your mind: Your emotional and mental well-being have a direct impact on your physical well-being and vice versa. So for optimal health, it’s important to hit it on all levels, from nutrition and exercise to releasing negative emotions. Your basic conscious and unconscious beliefs (your mindset) about health will also play a large part. For example, even though your body has the intrinsic ability to deal with common viruses or even cancers, if you have a strong belief that your “immune system is weak,” your unconscious mind will do all it can to make that true.

It was only about 7 years ago that I became committed to my own perfect health. I had allowed myself to become not just overweight but obese. I ate what I knew to be bad for me and I avoided exercise because I was self-conscious about my size. And even though I conscientiously cleared negative emotions and limiting beliefs in all other areas of my life, I specifically avoided the physical health area. I made a few attempts to get healthier but didn’t stay the course.

In other words, I was like the majority of people in the Western world: I was doing just enough to keep from being sick. Not doing what it takes to be perfectly healthy.

During that time, I was teaching others how to be empowered in their mental (NLP), emotional (Mental Emotional Release®) and spiritual lives (Huna). But I was completely neglecting that all-important fourth leg of the stool — my physical body. In fact, my physical health was so far behind the rest of me that after every intensive training, my body would fall apart and I’d have to visit my doctor for antibiotics!

Not good.

I finally realized (with a nudge from my wife, Soomi) that, to be fully congruent with what I was teaching, I had to make a change. Fortunately, I had all the tools I needed to turn the ship around on the mental, emotional and spiritual levels. And I was able to find an amazing program and coach for the physical level. (For more info on the program I found, LINK). Today, I’m not just “disease-free,” I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been. Perfect health for me is having all the energy I need to do what I want to do, feeling like I can fire on all cylinders to fulfill my purpose in life and knowing that my body is oriented toward health rather than sickness.

I tell you all this not to brag about myself (okay, just a bit — I lost over 65 lbs!) but to encourage you to seek that perfect health for yourself.

“Every patient carries her or his own doctor inside.”

— Albert Schweitzer

To your perfect health!


Dr. Matt

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Has Debt Become Your Drug of Choice? http://www.drmatt.com/2015/03/24/debt-drug-of-choice/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=debt-drug-of-choice http://www.drmatt.com/2015/03/24/debt-drug-of-choice/#respond Tue, 24 Mar 2015 13:45:43 +0000 http://www.drmatt.com/?p=2930 Upset Robed Woman Glaring At Her Many Credit Cards.


When I’m teaching about prosperity and someone brings up the issue of debt, my answer is pretty blunt:

In Western culture, spending more than you have is a desperate attempt to mask the pain of not living your life’s purpose. If you are living your life’s purpose, you don’t overspend and you don’t end up in debt. Period.

(But how do you really feel, Dr. Matt?)

I’ll tell you how I really feel,  in my newest Huffington Post article “Has Debt Become Your Drug of Choice?”

Not only can overspending be highly destructive to your life and cause all kinds of problems and stress, it can also keep you from recognizing the real issue: That we are all here to express our own unique life purpose, and that you were born to find that purpose and live it.

This seed of our purpose is inside us and, if we don’t acknowledge it, we feel an unrelenting ache. But since Western culture doesn’t put much emphasis on “life purpose,” we find other ways to ease that ache.

To know more about how people who are living their purpose spend money, read my newest Huffington Post article here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/matthew-b-james-phd/has-debt-become-your-drug_b_6875478.html


Dr Matt

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How the Power of Your Mind is Keeping You Broke http://www.drmatt.com/2015/03/19/your-mind-keeps-you-broke/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=your-mind-keeps-you-broke http://www.drmatt.com/2015/03/19/your-mind-keeps-you-broke/#comments Thu, 19 Mar 2015 13:45:40 +0000 http://www.drmatt.com/?p=2925 Empty pockets


“The man who never has money enough to pay his debts has too much of something else.”

James Lendall Basford


I’m guessing when Basford wrote that quote, he was saying that a person who can’t pay their debts has too much “stuff” they can’t afford. Maybe that they haven’t learned to budget or “live within their means.” Maybe they have too little discipline and too much focus on instant gratification.

But in my experience, the something that is “too much” when someone is stuck in debt is their limiting beliefs and negative emotions around money that reside in the unconscious mind.

Today, most of us have come to believe in the power of our conscious and unconscious minds. We’ve heard about it from everyone, from ancient philosophers like Marcus Aurelius (“Our life is what our thoughts make it.”) to spiritual teachers like Swami Vivekananda (“The greatest force is derived from the power of thought.”) to modern motivational speakers like Zig Ziglar (“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”)

So we try to consciously “activate” this awesome power of our unconscious mind to improve our financial circumstances by saying affirmations, making vision boards and setting goals. The critical point we’re missing is that the power of our unconscious minds is already activated —  it’s just active with thoughts and beliefs that are counter to what we want!

It does no good to spend 10 minutes morning and night saying positive affirmations about abundance and wealth if we spend the other 23 hours and 40 minutes worrying about it. As long as your prevailing thoughts and feelings are anxiety about money, fear that you won’t have enough, and doubt that you’re really capable of producing the income you want, your negative thoughts and their underlying beliefs will create your reality.

The emotional intensity of your worry and doubt combined with the consistency of it tells your unconscious mind that this (not those slick affirmations) is where it should focus.

How do you know that your prevailing thoughts and underlying beliefs about money are limiting? Just look at your results.

If you aren’t getting the financial results you say you want, then your powerful mind is working on a different agenda, one that is set to produce the results you’ve got.

It’s working perfectly.

As Albert Einstein put it, “The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”  And we can’t really change our thinking without uprooting those powerful underlying beliefs that are currently running the show.

“Prosperity consciousness” can’t just be slapped over a dump yard of negative beliefs and fears about money. Those limiting beliefs and emotions are toxic and persistent. Unless they’re uprooted, they’ll either sabotage your efforts or make those efforts incredibly painful and stressful.

By the way, this isn’t because your unconscious mind is against you. On the contrary, it’s doing its best to prove that what you really believe deep down about yourself and money is true! When you release those beliefs, your unconscious mind automatically stops its efforts to prove them.

So how do you identify and release these underlying limiting beliefs and negative emotions? Honestly, the easiest and most reliable way is to use a process like the Mental Emotional Release® process that I teach. But to get started on your own, begin with a self-assessment.

List all the beliefs you have about money and notice which are limiting. This can be a bit tricky because those underlying beliefs will sound absolutely true to you! If you’ve done some work in this area, you may not hold obviously destructive beliefs like “I don’t deserve wealth.” But you may have subtler limiting beliefs like “My work is only worth so much per hour.” Maybe you’ve even done a market survey and can “prove” that this belief is true. But that’s not the point:

Any belief that holds you back from what you desire is limiting. And no matter how “true” it sounds, someone who is getting the results they desire does not believe in that belief.

Ask yourself these questions about each belief you uncover:

  • Does this belief make me feel excited and encouraged about my financial future?
  • Does this belief bring me positive energy and inspiration to act?
  • Would a highly successful person who lives in natural abundance have this belief?

If you answered “no” to any of these questions, you’ve discovered a limiting belief that is blocking your financial goals.

Your next step is to find a resource and invest the time and energy needed to release those negative emotions and limiting beliefs. I invite you to attend my free webinar called “NLP and Huna Prosperity and Money Mastery” to learn more and discover effective ways to release what you need to release to get the results you desire in your finances.

As Darwin P, Kingsley wrote:

“You have powers you never dreamed of. You can do things you never thought you could do. There are no limitations in what you can do except the limitations of your own mind.”


Dr. Matt

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Are You in an Abusive Relationship with Money? http://www.drmatt.com/2015/03/17/abusive-money/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=abusive-money http://www.drmatt.com/2015/03/17/abusive-money/#respond Tue, 17 Mar 2015 13:45:47 +0000 http://www.drmatt.com/?p=2921 Are You In an Abusive Relationship with Money?


Fortunately, as a culture, we’re starting to reject the “inevitability” of abusive relationships. It’s no longer acceptable for parents to beat their kids, or for spouses to verbally, physically or psychologically abuse their partners. We’re cracking down on everyone who perpetrates domestic violence, from football players to politicians. We’re teaching our kids and teenagers about the dynamics of abusive relationships, and how to set healthy boundaries for themselves to avoid them.

But there’s one type of abusive relationship that’s still tolerated in this country: It’s the abusive relationship too many of us have with money.

In my recent Psychology Today article, “Are You in an Abusive Relationship with Money?” I not only help you to recognize if you are in an unhealthy relationship with money, I outline what it takes to change that relationship for the better.

You can’t break up with or divorce money, so you may as well learn to live with it. If you want to know more about what a healthy relationship with money looks like, follow this link to read my article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/focus-forgiveness/201503/are-you-in-abusive-relationship-money


Dr Matt

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Affirmations Suck! http://www.drmatt.com/2015/03/12/affirmations-suck/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=affirmations-suck http://www.drmatt.com/2015/03/12/affirmations-suck/#respond Thu, 12 Mar 2015 13:45:12 +0000 http://www.drmatt.com/?p=2917 Woman in Wonder Woman costume puts on makeup

Affirmations Suck!

Before you hit unsubscribe to my blog, take a deep breath and keep reading. Oh, and say something positive to yourself.

Good…. And, now that I have your attention, let me also say, I use affirmations to power through many areas of my life. And they work really well!

I know that may have been a bit confusing, so let me clear things up. Affirmations are amazing and work really well in areas that are going really well. However, all the past and current research shows that affirmations not only do not work in areas where things are bad, they can make things worse!

Saying happy things can piss you off.

Look, if positive thinking alone could fix everything, you would have solved all your problems already. You would just need to think happy thoughts, and BOOM, problems solved. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t work that way. In fact, affirmations and/or positive thinking makes matters worse in the area you most like needed it this most. This was clearly explained by Ray Williams, a fellow Psychology Today Blogger in 2012 (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wired-success/201210/why-dont-my-positive-affirmations-work). The research he sites explains the issues.

People in the studies who had low self-esteem actually felt worse about themselves after doing affirmation.

And, let’s get specific with this. The reason why affirmations don’t work in areas you desperately need them, is that there is an underlying issue or a deeper baggage that needs to be released. If you have overwhelming sadness, no amount of saying you are happy person is going to change that.

That is called denial and avoidance. And, quite frankly it pisses your unconscious mind off.

However, let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater, because affirmations can serve a purpose. Yesterday, I was feeling a little low on energy and not so motivated. I did a quick series of affirmations to get motivated to workout. And I had a great workout!

Fifteen years ago, when I weighted 235 pounds (which on a 5’ 9” frame is obese), no affirmation would be able to get me going. I was great at making every possible excuse in the world to avoid being healthy. Please understand, I wanted to be healthy. Most people that I have met want to be healthy, happy and successful.

I had baggage and I needed to resolve the baggage at the deeper level. Once I let the negative emotions and limiting decisions go, I had the ability to utilize positive focus and positive language in a very effect way.

There are three requisites for change and empowerment. This is modeled from successful individuals and very easy to follow.

Step 1: Release your baggage / blocks, then set a clear goal.

Step 2: Take action towards that goal

Step 3: Focus on the positive

You see, focus and affirmations come last, and again, this is how successful people operate.

Step number one is getting rid of the baggage and having a clear outcome. In a recent article on Yahoo Finance, Richard Branson describes this as the essential first step when dealing with an issue. He was discussing his decision to sue the British Government over a rail contract, and he said his first reaction was anger. Then he said, but taking action based on anger won’t lead to a positive. So he said he needed to become calm and clear first. Calm, meaning no anger, clear meaning a goal.

Once you are calm and clear, then it is time for step two, which is action. You can be totally free of baggage and have an amazing health goal, and at some point, you have to get up off the couch and go workout. You have to go the store and eat right. That is a key. So taking action is a necessary step for success.

Now that you have taken action, what do you do when the naysayers show up? “Oh, you are on a new diet? We shall see….” You have to be able to maintain your positive focus. I did a blog post a while back about dealing with negative people, and I won’t hide from this – they do exist. This is where affirmations can be helpful. You are going to have up days and down days. The key is to keep your motivation and focus on track so you reach your goal and find that happiness.

So I guess affirmations don’t suck, rather they just need to be used at the right time. Or to put it in positive language speak; affirmations are great and use them wisely!

And now I am going to go give myself my afternoon affirmation: “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me!” (SNL reference for those that think I am being serious….)



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NLP and Huna Prosperity and Money Mastery http://www.drmatt.com/2015/03/10/prosperity-and-money-mastery/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=prosperity-and-money-mastery http://www.drmatt.com/2015/03/10/prosperity-and-money-mastery/#comments Tue, 10 Mar 2015 13:45:37 +0000 http://www.drmatt.com/?p=2910
NLP & Huna Prosperity and Money Mastery
I’m often asked by students, “How can NLP and Huna help me to make more money?”
It’s a great question that I love answering.
I love answering this question so much I’ve decided to do a webianr on it.
The webinar is called “NLP and Huna Prosperity and Money Mastery”

Join me on 03/26/15 at 7:00pm PDT where I will teach you about wealth, prosperity, money and energy.

This is a free webinar and I will cover the following:- Understanding the foundation of prosperity
– The relationship between money and energy
– Discover the beliefs of successful and wealthy people
– Discuss the steps to discover your wealth strategy
– Finding purpose with money and wealthPlus there will be a live Q&A where I will answer any of your questions!

Dr Matt
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Introducing Dr John! http://www.drmatt.com/2015/03/03/introducing-dr-john/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=introducing-dr-john http://www.drmatt.com/2015/03/03/introducing-dr-john/#respond Tue, 03 Mar 2015 13:45:09 +0000 http://www.drmatt.com/?p=2903 dr john


I’m really excited to introduce to you my new co-trainer Dr John Ryan!Dr John has been on the road co-training with me since January and he’s absolutely rocking it.

Here’s a little bit about Dr John:

John Ryan, MBA, MSW, PhD is a leading expert on communication, transformation, and business development. John shares his systems and strategies with thousands of individuals and organizations each year through training, coaching, and consulting. With almost 2 decades in the training industry, Dr. John delivers customized, captivating seminars and workshops that inspire individuals and teams to overcome obstacles and achieve their goals.

As a Certified Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and a Certified Sales Trainer, Dr. John’s mission is to empower others to fulfill their highest potential. John assists his clients in achieving greater success by sharing the philosophy behind The 7% Solution. By mastering mindset, improving communication, and taking action, students incorporate the principles of The 7% Solution as they accelerate their growth and produce greater results.

As a student, Dr. John began training with The Empowerment Partnership (TEP) in 2000. Eight years later, he joined TEP as an adjunct faculty member involved with the Masters in Transpersonal Psychology degree program, online NLP Certifications as well as other distance-education courses. As of 2015, Dr. John is excited and honored to be a co-trainer alongside Dr. Matt James as they share cutting-edge techniques and ideas to countless students throughout the world.

Dr John has been with our company a while now, it’s been a pleasure working with him all these years and it’s been a real pleasure to share the stage with him. I’m excited for you all to head out to a training so you can see for yourselves.


Dr Matt



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Fall In Love With the Process http://www.drmatt.com/2015/02/19/fall-in-love-with-the-process/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=fall-in-love-with-the-process http://www.drmatt.com/2015/02/19/fall-in-love-with-the-process/#respond Thu, 19 Feb 2015 13:45:03 +0000 http://www.drmatt.com/?p=2897 stretching-498256_1280

“The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination.” – Carl Rogers

Did you make a few New Year’s resolutions this year? If so, odds are that getting healthier and maybe losing weight were in your resolutions. Good for you! According to studies, three of the top ten New Year’s resolutions people make involve some form of physical fitness.

But according to statistics, by February more than a third of us have already given up on our New Year’s resolutions. And by June? Less than half of us will still be on track with the goals we set in January. Yikes!

Fitness goals get abandoned for many reasons: You may have limiting beliefs that sabotage your good intentions. Your self-image as the “fat boy” or “sickly girl” is so strong that your subconscious thwarts any attempt to change it.

You may have run into resistance to changes you want to make from people around you. They might feel threatened by your desire to become healthier and stronger—especially if they aren’t feeling so great about their own fitness.

You may have tried to set a goal that is really someone else’s good idea for you, not your own. Maybe your doctor thinks you should weigh 15 pounds less or your husband thinks you should be able to run with him in his next half-marathon. But if you aren’t passionate about that goal, it ain’t gonna happen!

I’ve written about all of those issues in previous articles. But the pitfall I want to tackle today is: You simply hate the process it takes to reach your goal.

You hate getting up in the morning to run. You hate eliminating your favorite comfort foods from your diet. You hate being at the gym with all those perfect, spandex-covered bodies.  You hate taking time out of your already frantic schedule to do all the things you need to do to become healthier.

You might be visualizing your end-goal in all its brilliant Technicolor glory. You spend time focusing on the goal, thinking how great it will be to be stronger and more flexible, how wonderful you’ll feel to fit in those skinny jeans again, how awesome it will be to have more energy and stamina to do the things you want to do.

But whenever you think of what you “have to do” to get there, ugh! You haven’t put that same positive attention on the process itself. So the path to that magnificent end still looks like a gloomy, damp trail through an alligator infested swamp!

Your negative feelings about the process to get to your goals can easily cause you to desert them before the start of Spring training! As Alan Thicke once said, ”Fitness needs to be perceived as fun and games or we subconsciously avoid it.”

One of the tricks of the trade that successful goal setters and goal getters know is how to shift that negative attitude about the journey, so that the process toward the goal is as fulfilling as achieving the goal.

Sound impossible? Here are a few tips:

  1. Reward yourself for effort, not just results. Don’t wait until you’ve fully reached your goal to applaud yourself. Give yourself kudos for all the efforts you make along the way. Each time you choose to eat something good for you and skip the junk food, give yourself a pat on the back. Every time you roll out of bed and into your running shoes, give yourself a high five. Take time to feel good about the steps you take along the path.

These rewards don’t have to be huge or extravagant. Even a gold star on your calendar for each day you work out can make you feel proud of yourself. Focus on associating good feelings with the process to dissipate negative feelings that hold you back.

  1. Find processes you already enjoy.  Not everyone enjoys weight training or eating celery sticks for breakfast, lunch, and dinner! But the world of health, fitness and weight loss has a zillion options to help you get good results. Do some research and try out different possibilities.

Hate to run? How about square dancing or Zumba for aerobic fitness? Hate being cooped up in a gym? How about Tai Chi in the park or Yoga? Or add things you enjoy to make the process more pleasurable, like candlelight to a healthy meal or music to your weight training.

  1. Turn your like to dislike and vice versa. In the Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) I teach and practice, we have several specific techniques that instantly switch your feeling of “liking” something to “disliking” it or vice versa.

These techniques are most effective when you’re guided by a qualified NLP practitioner. But to get a taste of how this could work in the area of fitness, try these steps:

  1. Visualize a specific part of your health and fitness process that you don’t like, for example working out on the treadmill. Notice how your body feels, your emotions. Is the picture of being on the treadmill in color or black and white? Far away or close? Focused or unfocused? Still or moving? What sounds do you hear?
  2. Now think of an activity that’s somewhat similar but is something you enjoy, maybe playing catch with your child. As you visualize this fun activity, notice how your body and emotions feel. Is this new picture in black or white, far or close? Sharply focused or unfocused? Still or moving? Any sounds?
  3. Finally, go back to the picture of the activity you dislike. As you see this image, start shifting its characteristics to be similar as the activity you like. In other words, if your fun activity showed up in color, add some color to the picture of the one you don’t like. Add the sounds from your fun activity. Make this picture farther or closer, moving or still to match your fun activity. As you do this, notice any shifts in your body and emotions.

Keep in mind that the vast majority of our lives will be spent heading toward our goals, not just achieving them. Make sure the journey itself is a joy-filled, satisfying one! 


Dr. Matt


Research from http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/emotions/anger2.htm

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